Random Thoughts For The Week

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear

your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you

realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was

younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty

sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the

person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work

when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for

the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I

don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me

if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear

I did not make any changes to.

14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this --

ever.

15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damn

it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to

voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run

away?

16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not

seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to

answer when they call.

18. My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would

happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?

19. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

20. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or

Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.